Messenger Confidentials: The tenth gift

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I recovered from the cursing got yesterday. God in his mercy and Grace took the pain and the headache I got from it. Only to be cussed again this morning. But this time it didn’t hurt. It was like watching on a small screen T.V. at the greynound bus station. 25¢. I went to the abortion clinic this morning. The lady that worked there had the most vile mouth of anyone I’ve ever heard. Like standing over an open sewer. If Christian’s could just hate sin the way that lady hated Jesus we could.., well it’s not going to happen any time soon. It’s hard to describe a young girl looking around and taking a deep breath and committing to step off the curb and cross the street to get an abortion. It’s heartbreaking to see a young woman in such a dire straights. Alone. And cold. But i wasn’t broken near enough. My prayers weren’t salty enough. My words weren’t enough. Nothing was enough to hinder the girls in the cold and rain and overcast from coming to that crossroads. It’s was a day in the world. Cold and hard with no light. It took awhile for my hands to warm up. For my soul to recover from the tragedy the failure and the open hell. At every turn today I was meet with rudeness and meanness and pride and I was helpless. I had no fight left. I went to altar tonight at church. Feeling helpless and defeated. I knelt to pray in the heaviness of my heart. These were the only words I had. “Lord your words are sweet in my mouth but bitter in my spirit and my heart aches. God please save me and take this weakness.” And I felt in my spirit the Lord’s response, “but I gave you that weakness. It’s a gift. I gave it to you so you could know my strength.” And somehow it was enough. So that’s the tenth gift of the spirit. Weakness. I’ve known people that have Meekness but not me. I’ve never had it. Meekness must be like the other nine gifts, “as the Lord wills” Sure hope he’s willing more often…